


In Love and War

by ElleLouMay



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bullying, F/F, F/M, Fluff, I have so many emotions, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mentions of Suicide, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, anyone else crying for no reason?, dramatic as hell because why not, im insane, im sorry for this, its garbage but its my garbage, like wow, melodramatic rubbish, mentions of self harm, this is basically the most emo fic ever, this is what you do to me supernatural, this one actually has a plot omg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-27 10:17:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14423277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElleLouMay/pseuds/ElleLouMay
Summary: Can love survive twelve years apart?Chuck Novak dies and Castiel journeys back to the town he left behind to help his brother arrange the funeral of their Dad - but will the past come for him? Will he be able to face what made him run twelve years ago?Dean Winchester has regretted that day in Harvelle's diner for twelve long years and it's affected everything he does but now that he's finally being honest with himself and his family/friends will it be enough to fix what he broke?Their friends and family watch the two men dance around eachother until Sam and Gabriel intervene to show Dean and Castiel that one milkshake can go a long way.





	1. Twelve years

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovelies!  
> I was sitting at home feeling sorry for myself (I'm having a flare up of my churg-strauss) reading fanfic on this beautiful site when I was suddenly struck by inspiration.  
> An entire plot formed in my mind like magic and I just had to write it before it disappeared forever.  
> So strap in and get ready for an angsty, fluffy, smut fest.  
> Happy reading everyone!

20/06/1996

Sunlight streamed in through the windows of the packed diner as the waitress skated about with her tray held high, the voices of people enjoying their breakfasts on this sunny day were full of happiness. But there were no smiles or laughter found in the booth at the very back of the room, there hung an air of gloom above it – making it seem like an entirely different planet.  
Sat on the plush, red, seats was a tall teen with hair that was almost black and so messy it looked as though he’d just rolled out of bed. He was frowning with his thick brow knit together in what was quite obviously confusion. His cerulean eyes were focused on the teen opposite him – staring with an intensity that was overwhelming.  
The boy that sat opposite had light brown hair, so light it was almost blonde, a good days worth of stubble, freckles and a jaw that was strong. His mouth was a hard line, the full lips pressed together in anger, and his eyes glared – eyes greener than the lushest of lawns.

They did nothing to keep their voices quiet, so caught up in their argument that the room around them and all the people in it were invisible. It was the dark-haired boy that spoke first, his tone full of betrayal and pain which he didn’t conceal, “I don’t know why you wanted me to meet you here, I’ve already said all I wanted to say and you’ve certainly said more than enough.”

The other boy’s expression faltered, showing that his apparent anger was nothing more than a mask. He looked desperate almost, “I was a fool, I don’t want this – us – to end.” His voice was quiet towards the end.

“Why did you do it then, Dean?” The dark-haired boy’s voice was deep and hard as he glared at Dean.

“Because I’m scared, okay? I’m terrified. Dad got so close to finding us and you know what he’d do – I can’t get caught and risk losing Sammy, Cas.” Dean’s voice was small and it was disturbing how defeated he seemed.

“I know what your brother means to you,” Cas said, his voice softened, “But I can’t live like this. I can’t hide and pretend I don’t mind seeing you with her. I can’t go out on dates with Meg like she’s the one I want.”

Dean looked away from Cas and sucked in a loud, long, breath before speaking, “You know Lisa means nothing to me, I don’t want her but I have to make sure people think I’m not…” He waved his hands but didn’t finish his sentence as though he could convey what he wanted to say.

“Not straight. You can say it, we both know what we are and we should be able to at least say it when we’re together,” Cas was almost whispering, “I’m gay and I’m in love with a man who’s bisexual.”

Dean’s eyes darted around the diner while his cheeks coloured and his eyes darkened, “Someone could have heard that.”

Cas slammed his hands on the table in front of himself, “Who?” He roared, “Mr. Bloggs from the local lynching squad? Seriously this is a joke,” He was breathing hard as he stood, “I don’t know why I came,” Dean stood too and made to reach for Cas but let his arm drop pathetically when he remembered where they were, “I don’t want to see you again.”

And just like that Cas left, his shoulders bunched up as he stomped off down the street, leaving Dean to stare after him with burning eyes and a broken heart.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

20/06/2008

It had been twelve years and Castiel was finally moving back to Lawrence, everything he owned was boxed up and already loaded on to the moving van and he was picking up the keys to his new apartment as soon as he arrived in Lawrence. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t apprehensive about going back after all this time but his family needed him and if he was lucky his past would be long gone.  
He was set to start at his new job at Lawrence High on Monday meaning he had the entire weekend to get himself settled and begin helping Gabriel with the funeral arrangements for their Dad – he was still in shock that their Dad was gone.  
He hadn’t been old or sick. He’d woke up one morning and by five o’clock he was gone. He died in a car accident on his way back from work, the impact had broken his right femur which had in turn lacerated his artery. He bled out and died on scene before the paramedics even had a chance to get to him.

Gabriel had been close to their Dad – they both had – and it had torn him apart, he couldn’t stand to actually sort out the funeral and he hadn’t even started packing up their Dad’s stuff so they could sell the house. Castiel had initially thought Gabriel would refuse to sell the house but it seemed his brother didn’t want to have anything to do with the house they grew up in – Castiel could guess why. They had so many memories tied to that house.  
Their Dad building the treehouse for them in the back yard that was still there today, their Dad helping them with their homework at the kitchen table, watching football together as a family with the delicious chicken wings that Dad always made, Dad teaching them both how to ride a bike in the back yard…so many different memories that would forever linger in the place they’d once called home.

Castiel locked the door behind him as he left the house he’d lived in for these past twelve years and walked to where his prius was parked at the end of the drive. He turned and took one last look at the small two-storey and felt nothing – he had lived here but it hadn’t been home. It could have never been home to him and no matter what furniture he had brought or how many damn scatter cushions and knick-knacks he’d filled the place with it was always missing something. He could never complete the picture.

He started the engine with a near silent hum and pulled out on to the road, stopping only to retrieve his mail from the mailbox before speeding away down the road, through the city, past the city limits and he didn’t stop again until the sun had set.  
Castiel pulled into a motel when he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer and within an hour he was in a tiny room with a double which he collapsed on – still fully dressed.

21/06/2008

The next morning Castiel was awake at dawn and once he gave his room card back to the front desk he was spinning out onto the highway again.  
Sunshine blinded him despite his sun glasses and his head pounded like he’d downed an entire liquor store last night but he knew it was just stress and a fair bit of dread which seemed to be his passenger today – he pulled into a truck stop and grabbed himself a coffee and sandwich for the road and luckily he was making good time.  
If he only made stops for bathroom breaks from now on he would be in Lawrence in no time at all – the thought made a tight knot pull tighter in his stomach and he had to fight the urge to gag.

When he blinked he was shocked to feel hot tears sliding down his cheeks from beneath his aviator glasses – he wanted to turn his car around and head as far in the opposite direction to Lawrence as he possibly could. Going back made him feel so many different emotions, on the one hand he was devastated to be going back because of his Dad’s death but he was also glad that he was going to see his brother after years nothing but phone calls and then there was the chance that he might see…him.  
Castiel didn’t know what he’d do if he saw him. Would he be with her? Would they have children?  
His guts twisted as he imagined three perfect little children, all of them with gorgeous green eyes and light brown freckles. Their hair would probably be darker because she had dark hair but they would still look like…

Castiel swerved as a lorry almost hit him, his heart was racing and he swore loudly before slamming his hands against the horn.  
Life had a sick sense of humour, that was for sure.

He’d made it into Lawrence in record time and he stopped outside the estate agents to grab his new keys before driving off again.  
Everything was the same – there was the shop where Castiel used to get Gabriel to buy him alcohol when he was still too young to get it for himself, he passed what used to be his regular hangout (the library – there was a reason Castiel had become an English teacher), and here was the diner.  
The place where he’d first met him and their regular place for secret dates where they’d hold hands under the table and share milkshakes when they thought no one was looking.  
It had been redecorated by the looks of it, the sign was new and bigger: Harvelle’s.

Castiel fought against the urge to pull in and go inside, it would be really damn foolish to let the owner or her daughter see that he was back in town.  
Ellen and Jo were lovely people but they were also like family to…God!  
He screamed in frustration as his mind reeled.  
‘Never should have come back here.’ His mind shouted – and it was true. He should have stayed far away forever and lived his safe and lonely life with no danger of running into demons from his past.  
‘You had to come back.’ Whispered a different voice – That was also true, he needed to be here for Gabriel and if he was honest with himself he’d felt out of place every since he’d left town that night twelve years ago. This was, and always would be, his home. Where Castiel belonged.

He would have to nut up and shut up. 

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

21/06/2008

Dean stretched and rubbed his hands down his face, it was always around this time of year that he felt the urge to drink himself into oblivion but he’d taken it too far last night at The Roadhouse.  
Of course Ellen had tried to stop him after the ninth whiskey but after a meaningful look from Bobby and a sigh she had let him continue drinking mumbling about his poor liver and regret.  
This morning he was seriously hating himself for almost giving himself alcohol poisoning – it was just the only way he had to get rid of the sight of those blue eyes that were full of pain.  
He pushed himself up off of his kitchen floor and tried to avoid kicking empty bottles as he made his way to the lounge – he slumped into his armchair and put his head in his hands, promising himself that he wouldn’t do this to himself again but knowing that this time next year he would be in the exact same place…probably worse than he was now.

Cas’ face loomed up in his mind, those blue eyes wide and teary.  
Dean had to get out – do something that would occupy his mind and give him some kind of reprieve but there was no way he was going to get drunk again. Just the thought of it made him want to throw up whatever was in his stomach.  
Instead he stood – his head spinning like a merry-go-round on crack – and made his way on wobbly legs to his bathroom. When he was inside he stripped and turned the knob on the shower before stepping beneath the stream of water, he cranked up the heat until his skin felt like it was being engulfed in flames and for a while he just stood there with his forehead pressed against the cold tile on the walls and boiling water raining down on him like acid.

He groaned and grabbed his lotion along with his sponge and set about scrubbing his skin until it was red before moving on to shampoo.  
When he was done and he’d dried off he searched for a clean shirt and dressed carefully while the room span around him.

Harvelle’s diner was just as much a comfort to him as The Roadhouse and Saturday mornings usually found Jo rushed off her feet but today it was relatively quiet – Jo looked up from where she stood scrubbing at the tables with a cloth and smiled, “Morning Dean, you look like shit,” The small blonde laughed and walked over to him, “Mom’s out back sorting the books so her an’ Bobby can do the accounts for here an’ The Roadhouse later but I can fix you a stack of pancakes or some French toast if you want?”

Dean managed a weak smile, “Pancakes sound good right now, thanks sis.” Although Jo wasn’t blood she was as good as and when Bobby had married her Mom it had cemented the ties between Sammy, Dean and Jo. She was grown up now, Dean still saw her as his little sister.

She scowled at him though the hardness wasn’t there and she ruined it by giggling before disappearing into the kitchen out back of the diner to get Dean his pancakes – He slid into the booth he had been using for almost thirteen years now with the taste of ash in his mouth and the ever present sense of loss.  
Running his hand over the tabletop his fingertips instinctively found the initials that were scratched into the far side, they had stood the test of time and remained intact – he gazed down at them as he so often did, a lump rising in his throat.

C.N. ♡ D.W.

Twelve years had passed and there wasn’t a day where he didn’t think of Castiel, when he slept (after staying awake for as long as he could) he dreamt about him and no one else. When he saw couples walking down the streets or sat in booths close to his at Harvelle’s he had to bite back the bile that rose in his throat like battery acid.  
They’d been kids, dumb and in love but Dean knew he’d still be with Castiel if he had just had the balls to stand up to his old man and stop acting like such a fool – if he’d been a man and declared his love for Castiel to the entire world they could have had it all.  
But he’d been a cowardly boy and he’d done what his Dad wanted even if it made him miserable. He’d fought against everything he was just to be ‘normal’ and after a while it had become second nature.

Dean had drank beer, hit on chicks, listened to rock, been a jock, worked on cars and he’d done it so well that his Dad had been ‘proud’ to call him son.  
The drunken beatings had stopped and slowly Dean had lost himself behind his façade.  
It had gotten complicated when Castiel had moved to live with his Dad – he and his brother Gabriel had lived with their Mom in New York but she’d grown tired of her boys and they’d been sent to live with her ex-husband (their Dad) in Lawrence.  
The first time Dean had seen those blue eyes he’d felt his whole world shift.

01/12/1995

Dean sidled up to Lisa Braeden where she stood at her locker, smirking as she turned to look at him with a light blush tinging her tanned cheeks, he winked at her and gave her one of his devilish smirks, “Hey, baby,” Lisa giggled, she was putty in his hands, “You got anyone to go to the winter dance with?”

“Why? You asking?” She countered, trying to seem sassy but she couldn’t pull it off with her deepening blush now spreading to her neck.

Dean licked his lips and grinned at her, “Sure am, makes sense for me to take the prettiest girl in school.”

This had Lisa preening like mad, she flicked her hair and Dean followed the action – that was when he saw him and met a pair of wide, blue, eyes over Lisa’s shoulder.  
He could feel his heart leap and his mouth suddenly went dry, it was impossible to tear his eyes away now and the boy didn’t break eye contact either – they were stuck in some kind of staring contest but it wasn’t awkward.  
Lisa was still prattling on and he couldn’t focus on her words, couldn’t do much more than breathe and try not to drool – she didn’t notice, she was already planning their damn wedding and naming their children.  
In that moment, with those incredible eyes piercing his, he realized he couldn’t live this lie anymore. He would follow this boy wherever he went and he would give him everything he had without getting anything in return. This was it. He was it for Dean.

Dean didn’t see the boy again until lunch despite looking for him everywhere he went and in every class he had.  
He walked into the canteen as he did everyday – surrounded by his teammates and followed closely by Lisa and her small entourage of friends – laughing and joking about the game that was coming up.  
Benny punched Dean in the shoulder, “Dean’s gonna tear those Topeka tools a new hole, ain’t that right brotha’?”

Dean chuckled and nudged Benny, “Damn straight, gonna show those fools who’s boss.”

His teammates roared their approval and the eyes of everyone in the canteen were drawn to the loud cheers, Dean winked at a few of the girls but stopped dead when he saw the blue-eyed boy he’d seen earlier that same day.  
He was sat at one of the tables with Meg, a girl Dean knew because Lisa had told him that she was ‘weird’ and she thought she was a lesbian. Apparently Meg stared at the other girls in the changing room but Dean knew Lisa had a tendency to embellish her stories to make herself seem more interesting – soon Lisa had spread the rumour that Meg was gay around the school which had resulted in the poor girl losing the friend’s she’d hung out with for years, though you couldn’t really call them friends if they abandoned her like that when she might be questioning her sexuality.

It seemed she had a new friend though and the blue-eyed boy was laughing at something she’d said – he was cute when he laughed, his nose wrinkled and his white teeth were straight.  
Dean felt a pang of jealousy as Meg touched the boy’s arm and he found himself breathing hard, he didn’t want anyone else to touch his blue-eyed boy.

“-that’s why I’m going to wear pink and maybe Dean can get a tie the same colour.” Lisa was rabbiting on about the formal to the group and Dean was momentarily confused about how he’d sat down without remembering he’d moved his legs.

Benny chuckled loudly, “Gonna put out for our boy, Lisa? I know you’re good for it.”

Lisa glared at him, “You’re gross, you know that?”

Dean’s teammate’s laughed and he shook his head, “Lay off boys, why don’t you concentrate on who’s gonna be unlucky enough to see your tiny excuses for a-“  
“Winchester, I need to speak to you.” Everyone went silent.  
Meg was standing just behind Dean and he turned to face her with what he knew was a shocked expression – he schooled his features into something akin to amusement instead.

“Why would he wanna speak to you, dyke.” Lisa hissed, making everyone aside from Dean laugh.

Dean rolled his eyes and rounded on Lisa, “Give the girl a break would ya’?” He stood from his seat and followed Meg out of the canteen and down the hall into an empty classroom.

He paused at the door, “Erm, I’m not really sure how to say thi-“

Meg glared, “Shut up and get in here before your group of sheep come to see where their almighty leader went with the ‘dyke’.”

Dean began trying to apologize but she just pushed him inside the room and closed the door behind him leaving him to stare at the blue-eyed boy in confusion.  
He was sat on the teacher’s desk, his shapely lips parted – they were chapped but Dean knew they’d be warm and soft under his and the image of them making out burst into his mind.  
The boy stood and took a couple of steps towards Dean before speaking in a voice that went straight to Dean’s crotch, it was so deep and sensual, “Hello, Dean.”

Everything was swaying and Dean felt faint, he was going to swoon. Actually swoon. Who did that?  
“Uhm, hi.”  
Smoooth Winchester. Real smooth.

“My name is Castiel, I’m new. Or old I guess, I used to live here with my Dad before my Mom divorced him.” Castiel’s face was unreadable and Dean couldn’t help but stare at him with his mouth agape.

He swallowed and licked his lips, “Sorry to hear that, Castiel.”

Castiel waved his hand in the air, “Ancient history,” His eyes were like little oceans and Dean just wanted to swim in them forever, “I’m more interested in the present and future – that’s why I had Meg get you to come here.”

Dean’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion, “I’m not sure I understand.”

Castiel smirked and closed the distance between them making Dean’s heart stop.  
A pair of very warm hands caressed his chest over his t-shirt and he couldn’t stop the tremble that coursed through his body, “Do you understand now?”

Dean shook his head and stepped back half a step, “I’m not interested in men, I’m straight.” He tried his hardest to make it sound even slightly believable and failed miserably.

Castiel just kept smirking and this time when he closed the distance and gripped Dean’s shoulder with one hand while the other slid to his chest Dean didn’t pull away – he counted Castiel’s eyelashes and tried to remember how to breathe.  
The air Castiel breathed was breathed in by Dean, that’s how close they were now. It would be so easy to…  
Neither of them could decide who initiated that first kiss but over the next year they’d shared so many it never really mattered to either of them who was first.

21/06/2008

Jo brought him out of the past by setting his plate of pancakes in front of him and making him jump, “Daydreaming are we?” She giggled.  
Harvelle’s had begun to fill now and she rushed away to deal with the new customers before Dean could come up with something witty to say.

He looked across the diner to the large windows that lined the front and watched the street beyond as midday traffic idled by, everyone would be headed to the fair today and he’d refused Jo’s pleas to go so many times that she’d stopped asking altogether.  
Dean had told her every excuse he could think of over the last twelve years – he’d said he was catching up on homework or helping Sammy with homework in the early years but as he’d gotten older he’d moved on to being too busy fixing baby (his ‘67 Chevy Impala), having a hot date with a girl from out of town (everyone knew that was a downright lie), going to watch a game out of state with Benny or just about anything he could come up with that he deemed even half believable.  
Every year Dean barricaded himself inside his house with a six pack of Corona Del Sol and tried his hardest not to remember winning a stuffed bee for Castiel, sharing cotton candy and ending the night in the back seat of what was then his Dad’s ’67 Chevy Impala.  
That was the night he’d lost his virginity and fallen asleep on the leather seat with Castiel curled into him. That was the night he’d whispered his first ‘I love you’ into Castiel’s mouth as they’d made love.

Dean shook himself and closed his eyes for a moment to stop the tears that were threatening to spill, there was no way he was going to sit here having some hangover breakdown in front of everyone.  
He opened his eyes again in time to see a silver prius driving slowly past the diner, behind the steering wheel sat a man with wild, black, hair, tanned skin and wide, blue, eyes.  
Dean choked and blinked rapidly but the image didn’t shift – he jumped from his seat, knocking over his plate of pancakes and tripping over himself as he raced to the door.

“Woah, Dean where are you going?”

Jo’s voice registered in some small part of Dean’s mind but he had to get outside, he had to get to Castiel.  
He practically ran through the door but by the time he was out in the blinding June sun the Prius was turning the corner and heading out of sight.  
Dean ran after it anyway…he just couldn’t keep up.


	2. Picking up the pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will finding out a little more about what happened that day in Harvelle's change Castiel's perspective about what happened between him and Dean?
> 
> Will Dean manage to stop reliving it all every moment that passes him by?
> 
> Since when do Gabriel and Sam talk to eachother and how long has that been going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!  
> As promised here is the second chapter of the hell I am currently working on.  
> I had to go back and sort out the dates in the first chapter because for some reason I'd been changing the month constantly like an absolute idiot and it just didn't make sense. I'm an idiot.
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy reading!

21/06/2008

Castiel dragged the final box into his lounge and wiped at his sweaty brow before turning to the moving guys, “Hey thanks, I’ve got it from here guys.”  
He watched them file out before closing the front door and sliding down it on to the hardwood flooring in the hall – his hall – with his head in his hands.  
He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t be back here. Not now, after all this time.  
Castiel’s phone rang and he answered after checking the caller I.D.

“Hey Gabe, I just got the last box into th-“

Gabriel cut him off, “Dean Winchester just ran through my door like a man possessed.”

Castiel’s stomach dropped, “Why? What did he want?”

“A pound of fudge,” Gabriel responded sarcastically, “He saw you driving past Harvelle’s apparently.”

One more push and Castiel was going to fall over the edge, “You spoke to him?”

“No, I watched him speak to Karen on the cam but he asked for me. You gonna talk to him?” Gabriel said with a tone that said he knew what Castiel’s answer was going to be.

Castiel practically screamed, “Of course I’m not going to, he ruined my life!”

He could practically hear his brother rolling his eyes, “You’ve got to stop being dramatic, you two broke up ninety years ago and I have it on good authority that you’re not the only one that hasn’t dated anyone since.”

As always Gabriel didn’t understand, he didn’t know what Castiel had given to Dean and what Dean had given back nor did he know how hard it had been to have to walk away from that and never look back, “Who cares whether he’s been getting laid or not, you’re meant to take my side!” He bit back.

“Ouch, Cassie,” Gabriel said quietly, “You know I’m on your side I just think it would be a good idea for the two of you to talk it out. Sit down somewhere and have tea while you finally get some damn closure, you can’t go through life as a damn nun! It’s hurting my reputation and quite frankly the longer you go without getting your end away the more insufferable you become.”

“Did you have anything else you needed to say to me, Gabe?”

Gabriel sighed, “No, but I seriously think you shou-“

“I’m hanging up.” And he did just that, cutting his brother off and buzzing with anger because of the sheer audacity.

So he’d been spotted, big deal! That didn’t mean he had to go and talk to the man about how their lives had been and so what if he wasn’t the only one that hadn’t let another person touch him, it’s not like that meant anything in the long run.  
It probably wasn’t even true! Gabriel was more than likely making it up because really who would he have been speaking to about his ex’s booty count?  
Castiel pulled at his hair and stamped his foot against the floor before standing abruptly and unlocking the front door again – he flew outside and stormed down the street at a quick pace. Once he’d rounded the corner he started running, following what used to be his favourite route to run.  
One of the reasons he’d chosen his new house was because it was one he used to run by as a teen – as soon as he’d seen it for sale he knew he had found what he was looking for.

Yeah it wasn’t as big as the house he’d lived in with his Dad and Gabriel but it was in the same style with it’s wide porch and sash windows. The inside was the same layout but it was smaller and lacking in the same character his Dad’s house had – it was hard to look at something so similar and find parts of it missing.  
There was no wide arch that led from the lounge to the dining room, no vent in the upstairs bedroom leading to the kitchen (He and Gabriel had spent hours talking to their Dad through the vent in their room while he cooked), no crack in the marble of the fireplace and most importantly no Dad.

Castiel picked up his pace, sweating even more now with the sun belting down on him – he was running from his thoughts and his memories and every little thing that twisted his insides into knots. But he was also subconsciously running to something.  
After a while at the same pace his feet carried him past Lawrence High and he looked at the familiar building that he never thought he’d have to see again – he tore his eyes away when it got too much and kept on running, feeling the burn radiate through his quadriceps and gluteal muscles.  
He could picture Gabriel in his mind with a Hershey bar hanging from his mouth as he spoke ‘Little brother you know you could burn off twice as many calories having sex, right?’

Even the Gabriel in his imagination was infuriating and that anger spurred him on, making him run even faster than before.  
He shook his head but Gabriel remained and his voice echoed in his skull, “I have it on good authority that you’re not the only one that hasn’t dated anyone since.”  
Castiel’s eyes narrowed as he finally realized where his feet were leading him – his stomach dropped and his imagined retort to his brother dissipated like smoke.  
Shit…Harvelle’s.

No one forced him to cross the street and walk through the doors of the diner but he did it anyway – he was in some kind of daze, walking as though he were asleep.  
The sound of the bell chimed as the door swung open and closed which drew Jo’s attention.  
She was in the process of turning when Ellen appeared from the back and dropped the tray of burgers she was carrying with a loud, “Sweet lord.”

Jo looked to her Mom before following her shocked gaze to where Castiel stood just inside the door, “Son of a bit-“

“Joanna Beth, you watch your tone these people are tryna’ eat some grub. Ellen I’ll help you get that cleaned u-“ Bobby stopped as he made his way around Ellen and finally saw what had caused the commotion, “Son of a bitch!”

Castiel was too numb to move let alone speak but he didn’t need to do either because Gabriel stood up from his seat at the counter and clapped his hands together with a laugh, “Knew you’d come little brother, couldn’t resist it could you?”

Curse him for being such a damn smartass – yet again Castiel had played right into his hands.  
He could feel his face burning like fire, “I don’t know why I came, I’ll be leaving now. Sorry for disturbing everyone.”

Ellen stepped forward, “You listen here boy,” Here it was, she was going to chew him out for leaving Dean, “You have no reason to leave and you’re just as welcome here as any one of these people,” She looked at Jo and Bobby daring them to contradict her before carrying on, “But you need to tell us why you left.”

Gabriel was pouring syrup into his mouth and spoke around the thick liquid, “’s ‘cos ‘e ‘as ‘umped ‘nd ‘ired o’ lyin’ ‘bout bein’ ‘ay ‘ith Dean.”

Castiel shot daggers at his brother and his hands balled into fists at his sides, “Could you please keep your nose out of my business, Gabe.”

His brother laughed and shook his head, swallowing with some difficulty, “Same old Castiel, would rather deny it all than get even a little bit off his chest.”

Ellen and Jo were looking back and forth between the brothers in confusion Bobby spoke in a low whisper that managed to carry to the two men, “I got the jist of what the short one said but I don’t know why you’d think you can’t talk to us about that,” Obviously he hadn’t understood Gabriel outing Dean and Castiel, “We know all about it and have done since the first time you boys came in here together, bit hard not to notice two people falling in love.”

Castiel’s eyes widened as he looked from Bobby to Ellen and then finally to Jo, all three of them seemed unfazed and Ellen wore a soft smile on her face.  
Gabriel was chuckling, “See little brother, Dean left the closet without even realizing it.”

“Does Dean know that you guys knew?” Castiel couldn’t stop staring at them all.

Ellen’s smile widened, “We offered to pay for him to go after you when you left.”

Gabriel clapped his hands in delight, “Oh that is amazing! Well done Ellen!”

Castiel looked down at his feet and frowned, “But he didn’t come.”

Bobby sighed and closed the distance between himself and Castiel, placing one of his hands on his shoulder and patting the place where it sat, “Why don’t you come out the back with me an’ Ellen an’ we’ll talk all this over.”

Castiel allowed Bobby to lead him back and heard Jo say, “Oh yeah don’t mind me, I’ll just be out the front by myself again,” She raised her voice, “If anything else crazy happens don’t think I’m fetchin’ y’all.”

Bobby motioned for Castiel to sit and joined him at the small table along with Ellen, “We’re so sorry sweetie.” Ellen was the one to start.

Bobby nodded, “Yeah, don’t get me wrong you hurt Dean and a part of me wants to grab my shotgun but he hurt you too an’ I know he did you dirtier than you did him,” Ellen nodded with a sadness on her face that was really out of character for her, “Dean sat here in that booth right where you left him an’ he wouldn’t budge. Eventually John came for him and we knew what was comin’, just didn’t know how bad it would get did we?” Bobby looked at Ellen mirroring her sad expression.

She carried on, “John walked in here and shouted that Dean needed to come home, he was drunk and Dean just snapped. He stood up and shouted that his Dad was a disgrace for being drunk all the time. He didn’t hold back, he laid into him about Sam and everything until finally he just started laughing like a mad man while John stood there red faced,” She sighed, “John wouldn’t dare hit Dean in front of me or Bobby but that night he rushed him, tackled him to the floor and started swinging at his son like he was fighting his worst enemy.” 

“’Course I grabbed John off of him and I held him up against the wall but Dean wasn’t done,” Bobby shook his head and smiled, “The whole time John had been beatin’ him Dean was laughing that same laugh and Ellen helped him to his feet, we thought the boy had gone crazy. He stands there across from John and he’s staring him in the eye as he spits blood on to the floor then he says, ‘I’m bi Dad, I like boys and girls. Scratch that, I like one boy.’”

Ellen and Bobby grin, “We’ve never been prouder of that boy but John was fuming and we took Dean and Sammy in after that. John disappeared to live with some woman he’d had a kid with and we didn’t hear nothing from him until his obituary was posted.”

Castiel was stunned, “That’s horrible but I’m glad he was able to come out finally, I know how hard it can be to keep a part of yourself that’s that big hidden.”

Ellen smiled sadly, “When he found out you’d skipped town he was broken an’ he started drinking,” Castiel expected to see blame in her eyes but it wasn’t there, “All I could think was maybe if I paid for him to go to you it’d get him off the bottle.”

Bobby adjusted his cap, “But he told us you didn’t want to see him again an’ none of us could make him see sense, not even Sammy.”

Castiel winced, Sam and Dean had always been able to get through to one another, “And is he better now?” His voice wavered as he asked betraying how much this was affecting him.

“You could see that for yourself.” Jo had walked in behind Castiel and her voice made him jump.

“Joanne you keep your nose outta this.” Ellen shook her head at her daughter but Jo pulled up a chair and ignored her.

“No Mom, he needs to see what he did to Dean an’ vice versa,” She looked into Castiel’s eyes and something in them seemed so alike Dean, they weren’t the same colour but Jo had the exact expression down, “Ain’t no use hidin’ out in here askin’ ‘bout him when he ran outta the door to chase your car down the street more than an hour ago.”

Ellen gasped, “He did what?”

“Bloody idjit.” Bobby shook his head with a deep and resigned sigh.

Castiel was opening and closing his mouth like some kind of demented fish, “I can’t do that.”

Jo glared, “Can’t or won’t Castiel? ‘Cos I never pegged you for an asshole but if you don’t at least speak to Dean that’s what you are.”

Castiel’s anger flared and he shot up from his seat which toppled to the floor, “I’m not the asshole, I’m not the one that cheated with Lisa Braeden!”

The door burst open and Gabriel came through wearing an apron, “Thought I’d come and join the party now it’s getting louder.”

“Shut up, Gabriel.” Castiel roared before pushing past his brother and running back out of the diner.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Dean watched as a woman ran past him and thought about how much Castiel had loved running, he’d ran every single day and Sammy used to run with him but Dean had always been more of a car kind of guy.  
He’d always driven alongside his secret boyfriend and his brother shouting encouragement and mocking Sammy’s long hair every step of the way.  
Sammy had never given up running and for months after losing Castiel he had begged Dean to come out and drive next to him while he ran but it was just one more thing that felt like it belonged to a different version of him – he couldn’t stand to drive down the familiar route that Castiel had followed without the sight of the one he loved in his vest and shorts with his dark hair sweaty and his cheeks flushed.

He’d fought with himself for so long and tried his best to avoid anything that reminded him of what he’d thrown away but little by little things had crept back over the years.  
His love for pie had been rekindled the Christmas after Castiel left, he’d worn the boots that Castiel had loved on him again after two years, the photos of him and Castiel kissing in a photobooth had come back out three years after the boots and he’d allowed himself to watch Dr. Sexy again after seven years but some things were just too painful to ever do without Castiel.

Dean had never hooked up with anyone aside from Castiel – he’d tried a few times but he’d always get so far and then he’d start to feel sick or the other person would notice that he just wasn’t in the mood to follow through with his promises. Usually they’d ask him what the fuck was wrong with him or they’d slap him but that’s not why it hurt.  
It hurt because they weren’t Castiel. They weren’t his Cas.  
They were all wrong and he couldn’t get past drunkenly making out and groping.  
Eventually he’d just given up and accepted the fact that he would be haunted by the ghost of what he used to have for the rest of his life.

Now it seemed he’d moved on to full on hallucinations of Castiel and because he was so unhinged he’d chased that prius like an idiot – the poor guy driving it was probably terrified by the sight of some guy chasing after him.  
The situation would have been funny if it wasn’t so damn painful and as he sat there with the world passing him by he couldn’t help but run his fingers over the small tattoo he’d gotten on his ring finger.

It had been the first thing he’d done after realizing that Castiel was never coming back and it had been Sammy that had suggested doing it, he’d said that it would be a way of discreetly showing the world what Castiel had meant to him and how strong their love for one another had been.  
After he’d found a tattoo shop willing to do it he’d booked in and watched as the love of his life was scarred into his skin forever.  
To an outsider it wasn’t – just Castiel’s initials – but it was everything to Dean.

He let his gaze travel down to it with tears brimming over his bottom lashes, it had been liberating to have this permanent sign of his devotion where everyone could see it but now…now it was mainly just painful.  
He felt like screaming and punching something – someone – but he fought against it. He didn’t need Jody coming along with Donna in toe to have a heart-to-heart with him for goodness sake.

Instead he stood and walked back to the diner, he didn’t go inside.  
He just slipped inside his baby and drove his way back home with a ball of agony stuck in his chest and a body that ached right down to his bones.

22/06/2008

Dean woke at noon with a groan and the lingering wisps of dreams swirling at a dizzying speed as they vanished – the dream had been the first one he’d had in a very long time that involved Castiel in a way that wasn’t like fresh hell.  
In a way it had been worse than the nightmares where Castiel was stuck in a loop of walking in on him with Lisa, it was worse because it would never happen.  
All the nightmares were memories but this one had been like wishful thinking almost and it had left him feeling sick – Castiel had sat and talked to him and then the dream had skipped and they’d been here.  
Dean had kissed Castiel like it was the first time and Castiel had kissed back, they’d deepened the kiss and eventually collapsed together on to the bed where they’d laid looking into one another’s eyes.  
He’d whispered his love for Castiel and that’s when he’d woken up.

It was so unrealistic it was laughable.  
And by now Castiel would probably be waking up in the arms of another man with a smile on his face…Dean ran to the toilet and gagged – his knuckles were white as he gripped the edge of the seat.  
No matter how many times Sammy had told him that Castiel had remained single throughout the years there was no way he could believe that – why wouldn’t Castiel move on after what had happened.  
He wiped his mouth as he turned and sat with his back against the toilet, his thoughts travelled back to the reason he’d lost it all.

19/06/1996

Dean dressed slowly and carefully and looked back at Castiel’s sleeping form with a soft grin before nudging him and shouting, “Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!”

Castiel groaned and pulled one of the motel pillows over his head, “Five more minutes.”

He was always so damn hard to wake up and it never failed to make Dean laugh, “I’m not afraid to throw you over my shoulder and dump you into the shower, Cas.”

The pillow suddenly swung at Dean’s face but years of dodging his Dad’s fists had gifted him with cat-like reflexes and he managed to gain the upper hand by yanking the pillow from Castiel’s hands, “You’re infuriating.” Castiel grumbled.

“And you’re gorgeous.” Dean crawled to Castiel and lavished his cheeks and neck with gentle kisses, eventually Castiel broke and let out a soft moan.

When Dean pulled back he saw Castiel’s pupils dilate and let out a shout as he was flipped on to his back and pinned to the bed with Castiel straddling his lap, “Don’t start what you can’t finish.” Castiel growled.

It was Dean’s turn to moan as Castiel grinded down on him, someday Castiel was going to be the death of him.

 

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Lisa was her usual maddening self, Dean was only half aware of what she was saying and he hated that because of the lie he had to live he was losing out on spending time with Castiel.  
“-and that’s why I think we should have a double wedding, it would be such a statement and it’d also mean the wedding could be bigger.”

Dean snapped out of his daydreaming about Castiel, “A what now?”

“A double wedding, silly,” Lisa smiled at him and shook her head, “Us with Benny and Angela.”

“Andrea.” Dean corrected.

“Yeah, whatever,” Lisa rolled her eyes, names were unimportant to her, “Don’t you think it would be beautiful?”

Dean bit his cheek to keep him from telling her that he was never ever going to marry her but instead he just picked her hand up from where it lay on his bedspread and kissed her knuckles, “Yeah, sounds good babe.” He wanted to throw up.

She squealed happily and blushed before leaning in to whisper, “We don’t have to wait ‘til the wedding ya’know,” She licked her lips, “I’m okay with us having…having sex now.”

“No, Lis, I’m fine with waiting.” More than fine. 

But Lisa was determined it seemed, “Come on Dean, we’ve been dating for forever now,” She was getting that defiant look on her face now, the one that made her look constipated, “I’m tired of waiting now. You love me, don’t you?”

Dean swallowed, no – he didn’t love Lisa, “I just don’t want you to do it before you’re ready.”

“Oh, come on! It’s not like I’m a virgin for crying out loud.” She screamed.

“Can’t we talk about this some other time?” He was very conscious of his Dad who was sleeping off his hangover in his room next door.

She glared, “No, we can’t! I want you to be close to me and I want to be close to you, I don’t see why that’s such a big deal.”

Rolling his eyes internally Dean donned his softest fake smile, “It’s meant to be special, Lis.”

She scoffed, “You’re no virgin either, Dean.”

“Just drop it, please.” His head was starting to pound.

Lisa’s gaze saddened and for a beat Dean almost felt sorry for her until he noticed the tell-tale sign that her expression wasn’t genuine, when she spoke she made her voice waver, “Please, just please Dean. I’ve never begged before and I don’t like begging but I’m willing to beg you.”

She was moving closer, impossibly close and Dean was fighting the urge to kick her out.   
Lisa took his lack of action as consent and pushed him down with surprising strength before sliding into his lap and straddling him – he was reminded vividly of how Castiel had done the same that morning, how they’d kissed like the world was ending as Castiel had grinded himself against Dean. Eventually the clothes Dean had so carefully dressed in were stripped away and thrown into a far corner of the motel room and he was watching as Castiel lowered himself down on to his cock – eyes lust blown and mouth slack as his hole was breached.

There was a gentle knock at Dean’s bedroom door before it swung open, “I forgot that I needed to give you your gif-“

Castiel was frozen in the door way, framed by the light coming in from behind him. His face had fallen as he looked at Lisa who was still grinding herself down against Dean.  
Dean threw her off and raced to Castiel, “It’s not what it looks li-“

Those incredibly blue eyes that Dean loved so much were swimming in tears as Castiel spoke, his voice breaking along with Dean’s heart, “It was just sex,” He was breathing fast, “Goodbye, Dean,” He turned to face Lisa who was getting up from the floor and spoke a bit louder so she could hear, “Sorry that I interrupted.” And then he was gone and Dean stood rooted to the spot.

“Why was that freak here?” Lisa asked.

“For once just shut the hell up, would you?” Dean screamed back.

Down the hall he heard his Dad’s bed springs go and the sound of the door being opened, “Dean! You got no respect, boy?” His Dad roared as heavy footsteps pounded down the hall.

Lisa’s eyes were wide as she straightened her clothes, “I’m leaving but you’re lucky I’m not breaking up with you after how you just spoke to me.”

“I couldn’t give a damn,” Dean replied, making Lisa stiffen, “I’d be happy if I never saw your face again,” He was shocked at the venom he heard in his own voice, “Actually you don’t have to break up with me, babe. I’m breaking up with you so you can get the hell out now and go runnin’ back to Benny for the fuck you were so desperate for.”

It was no secret that Lisa had been sleeping with Benny behind Dean’s back but she’d never suspected that he knew, “Who told yo-“

John flung Dean’s bedroom door open but when he saw Lisa he just grinned, “Oh, got your little girlfriend here. Make as much noise as you want then, that’s my boy.” Somehow John hadn’t realized what was going on – that probably had a lot to do with how drunk he still seemed to be.  
He chuckled and mumbled ‘that’s my boy’ as he walked back to his own room.

“I didn’t need anyone to tell me, I saw you,” Dean laughed, “Bit hard not to when you were parked in Harvelle’s lot.”

“It was just a one time thing, Dean!” She pleaded, her eyes full of her false regret.

Dean laughed louder, “That’s real funny because that’s not the first time I saw you two.” He grabbed Lisa’s gently and began steering her downstairs and to the front door.

“Please.” She had fake tears streaming down her face now and she was sniffling.

“Thank you.” Dean replied as he slammed the door behind her.

22/06/2008

 

Dean shook his head and brought himself back to the present feeling nauseous and full of self-hatred.  
Castiel had walked in and assumed that he was seeing Dean about to have sex with Lisa in the same way they’d had sex mere hours before and understandably he’d been hurt by it, all Dean could do was try to make Castiel see that it was Lisa that was coming on to him and he was never going to do anything.  
But an entire day searching the love of his life had resulted in nothing and he’d gone to sleep that night sobbing into his pillow and hating himself for what he’d done – he’d fucked up something perfect and he didn’t know if he was going to be able to make things right again.

He had vowed to himself – while he laid in his bed that night – that he would make Castiel understand and get him back.  
But he’d only ended up making everything worse when he’d met with Castiel at the diner the next day.  
As he’d watched Castiel leave he’d still half hoped that he could somehow fix what was broken but when he’d knocked on Castiel’s door the next day and come face to face with very distraught looking Gabriel he just knew.  
He knew Castiel was gone. For good.

Chuck had paid for his son to live in another state and had refused to tell Gabriel where that was – obviously he knew that Gabriel had a big mouth and knew that Dean would come by and ask questions.  
Gabriel had eventually found out where his brother was and he had lost no time in telling Dean but no matter how many times Sammy and Gabriel tried to convince him to make the drive he just couldn’t.  
He’d get into his baby and he’d start her with the intention of going to Castiel but he never made it past Topeka before turning back and getting drunk, Castiel’s last words echoed in his mind, “I don’t want to see you again.”

Who could blame him?

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Sam parked at the edge of Lawrence Nature Park and got out of his Ford F-450 and leant against the door as he looked at the trunks of the tall trees.  
He thought about what a mess this whole situation was and how badly he hated seeing Dean in turmoil because of his past, that was the driving force behind his plan to resolve this situation.  
Years had passed and he’d watched his brother pretending to be happy but he had a massive tell – when he was being ripped up inside he always went over the top putting on a show and dance to seem happy.  
Sam had looked on as his older brother had acted like the life of every party, laughing too hard, drinking too much, flirting with everything that moved and ‘hooking up’ with a different person every night of the week.  
It wasn’t difficult to see past it all and notice what only those closest to Dean could pick up – no matter how over-the-top his brother acted he always ended up sleeping alone after another failed attempt to lose himself and his past in a warm body.  
Every time Dean lied about being fine it chipped away at another part of Sam’s heart.

“Good afternoon, hot stuff.” Sam almost jumped out of his skin as Gabriel spoke.

“A bit of warning would have been nice, Gabe.” He replied watching as the shorter man chuckled.

He swirled his tongue around the tip of his red lolli-pop, “Next time I’ll send out the marching band first then.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam smiled and pushed off from his truck before walking closer to Gabriel, “Can it, midget.”

Gabriel shook his head with his ever-present smirk, “At least I’m not so big I scare the villagers, sasquatch.”

Laughing along with Gabriel they began walking into the trees, “Wanna tell me what the plan is?” Sam said after a while.

A loud pop signaled Gabriel abruptly pulling off of his lolli-pop, “You mean you don’t have a plan? The great genius Sam Winchester hasn’t come up with a flawless scheme to get our brothers to remove their giant heads from their asses?”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Stop being a jerk.”

Gabriel skipped in front of Sam and waggled his eyebrows, “Luckily for you I have the perfect plan in mind and it just so happened that this is the perfect time for it to all work out just the way we want.”

“Yeah?” Sam smiled.

“You betcha’,” Gabriel fell into step beside Sam, “So listen closely because I am not going to repeat myself,” Sam rolled his eyes again, “I know you just rolled your eyes at me, Sammy and I have to say that is a terrible reaction to the greatest plan since Clarence, John and Frank devised a way to freedom from Alcatraz.”

“Just tell me, Gabriel.”

Gabriel chuckled and practically started to sing out the plan he’d devised as they made their way along the treelined trail.  
By the time he had finished night had fallen and Sam was left with a look of shock on his face – until then he’d severely underestimated just how brilliant Gabriel was.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

23/06/2008

 

Castiel assessed himself one last time in the full-length mirror that stood in his new bedroom – the white shirt he wore was ironed within an inch of it’s life, his charcoal waist-coat was immaculate, and his grey slacks were wrinkle free.  
He walked through to his lounge and grabbed his briefcase along with his satchel and car keys before walking out of his front door.  
Today he’d start his new job at the school he’d attended for one year and he’d face a whole host of memories, but he was stronger than his past and this weekend had shown him that he needed to at least try to pretend it wasn’t affecting him.

He stopped for coffee on the way and was pulling into the teachers lot outside of Lawrence High at 8:00am, he didn’t let his mind wander to his past and left his car as soon as he’d parked before walking through the familiar front doors.  
Castiel walked among the early students (there weren’t many) and made his way to Principle Crowley’s office for what his new boss had called ‘a welcoming chat’.

He was beckoned inside after knocking just once by a gruff but very British sounding voice and he lost no time heading through the door to be met by the sight of a black-haired man who looked to be somewhere around his forties.

“Ahh, Cameron, right?” Principle Crowley said while he poured himself a glass of whiskey.

“It’s Castiel, actually,” He replied as he took the seat that Principle Crowley was motioning to, “And you’re Principle Crowley?”

The shorter man grinned, “Please, call me Fergus.” The way he looked at Castiel made his skin crawl.

“Very well, Fergus.” Castiel tried to keep his tone polite but he was struggling.

Principle Crowley downed his whiskey and smacked his lips, “Now, let me start by welcoming you to Lawrence High. I’m-” He chuckled and corrected himself, “We’re happy to have you and I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”

Castiel nodded, “I would hope so.”

“We have a total of twenty staff members not including our two janitors and the groundskeeper and you’ll meet most of them in the staff room at lunch,” He paused and leant his head on his hand, eyeing Castiel with something akin to amusement, “Although Miss – Mrs. – Bradbury is currently on leave, honeymoon you know.” 

The way he’d said girlfriend was like he was testing the waters to see how Castiel would react so he deliberately kept his face expressionless when he responded, “I’ll look forward to meeting them all and Mrs. Bradbury when she returns of course.”

Principle Crowley seemed to like something he’d heard in Castiel’s reply because he smiled widely and gestured to the bottle of whiskey, “Can I get you a drink, Casti – Cas? Your name is a bit of a mouthful.” He laughed at his own joke but Castiel curled his hands into fists where they sat on his thighs.

Castiel almost gagged, no one had called him Cas since Dean, “I don’t partake,” He looked at the whiskey as he spoke, “I agree, my name is a mouthful; however, I have to ask that you use my full name if only to maintain our professional relationship with one another.”

Principle Crowley’s smile briefly faltered but he soon picked it back up, “Of course, of course. Anyway, have a great first day and I’ll see you in the staff room at lunch, yes?”

“I’ll see you then, Principle Crowley.” Castiel said as he stood and left the room.

His first period class were a handful and they tried to get out of doing anything that remotely resembled ‘work’ so by the time the bell signaled second period he was already in a foul mood.  
Unfortunately, his second set of students were no better and neither were the third or the forth meaning that when the bell rang to declare lunch Castiel had to fight his desire to shout profanities.  
Yes, teenagers were often unable to concentrate but he’d always been able to gain their attention in his past jobs – he was struggling for the first time in his career and he was feeling hopeless.

Making his way to the staff room Castiel slid through the door and was met with seventeen pairs of eyes as the teachers present looked at him.  
He stood just inside the door in silence for a beat too long before clearing his throat, “Hello everyone, I’m Castiel Novak.”

A blonde who was sitting at the small table with a microwave burrito wiped a napkin against her lips, “Novak? I know that name from somewhere,” She turned to a brunette seated next to her, “Cassie, you know a Novak?”

The pretty woman with skin the colour of coffee turned her full attention to her friend and then to Castiel, “Yeah, he and I go well back.” She smiled and Castiel felt his stomach tightening.  
Cassie Robinson hadn’t aged a day since senior year.

“It’s good to see you again Cassie.” He found himself saying – it was anything but good.

Her smile morphed into a smirk, “Is it? What’s it been, twelve years sounds about right. The way Lisa tells it you skipped town after she caught you in bed with Dean.”

Everyone in the staff room gasped and stared at Castiel with shocked expressions.  
Castiel’s back went up and he barely concealed the anger that crept into his voice, “I’m surprised you still believe gossip,” He grinned at her and watched her eyes narrow, “Especially when it’s actually the opposite – I caught her in bed with Dean. Now I’m here to teach and I’m not here to talk about what’s in the past, if you have a problem with me being here you can take it up with Principle Crowley.”

“Maybe I will, Crowley would-“

“I would what, Miss Robinson?” The Principle had came in behind Castiel who’d subconsciously moved towards Cassie as they argued.

“Castiel has history with Dean Winchester and Lisa Braeden.” She slapped her hand over her mouth as though she couldn’t believe what she’d just said.

Crowley shrugged, “Correct me if I’m wrong but you teach health not history, don’t you?”

“Yes, but Principle I-“

She was cut off by the Principle, “How about you stick to what you teach and keep your opinions to yourself, you know how much I despise tedious gossip.”

Castiel was beginning to like this man and he turned to smile a very genuine smile at him which he hoped conveyed his gratefulness.  
Principle Crowley’s answering smile told him the message was received and the rest of lunch was spent exchanging small talk with his new boss while they each ate together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh! Looks like Castiel's plan to forget about the past and throw himself into his new job was shortlived *Glares at self* All thanks to that lil sh*t.
> 
> I'm going to start on the third chapter now but I can't promise that it'll be up tonight.
> 
> Love you all!


	3. NOT A CHAPTER

This isn't a new chapter, I just wanted to explain why my posting schedule has been off these past few days.  
I had planned to do at least one chapter every day and then have weekends free however yesterday was my birthday and my family had decided that we would celebrate starting Friday meaning I haven't had the time to sit down and write.  
Now I resumed writing this new chapter today but I'm not sure when I will be posting or if I will have the time to post this week which is really terrible and I feel dreadful.  
I also wanted to get into some of my older works and tie up the lose ends on those as well so I'm trying to work out a time to start that as well, I was thinking that if I could perhaps set aside a solid week for just writing and reviewing the chapters that I've already written up I might be able to get everything sorted.

So I'm asking you all to please be patient until I can get this chapter posted, I don't want to rush and post something that doesn't make sense or doesn't do the characters justice because that's not really writing in my opinnion.

Love you all x

**Author's Note:**

> And that concludes chapter one!  
> I hope you all had as much fun reading this as I had writing it because damn I think I love this fic.
> 
> Now I'm going to crack on with the second chapter but I have no idea when it'll be up so don't kill me.


End file.
